Matt Gets Drunk
by Miss 229
Summary: Hehehe. Matt + Beer= Really bad things. Part One In My Matt Hardy Series


Matt Gets Drunk  
  
Miranda: O.K., I'm writing this and I don't like the idea of Matt Hardy getting drunk. It scares me! Matt: Well, then why in the hell are you writing it?  
  
Miranda: Shut it, Matt! I don't know why I'm writing it. Matt: Then don't. Miranda: Duh, Matt! If I don't write it, where are you going to go? You'll disappear if I don't write this. Matt: Oh, well then what are you waiting for? Write it, write it, write it! Miranda: OK! Lemme go, Matt. Geez! Jeff: Do I get to be in this? Matt: No! You've got your own series. Jeff: Fine! [Poof!] Miranda: That was weird. Alright, let's get to the summary. Bye! [Poof!] Matt: Help me! I'm all alone! [Cries] Miranda: [Poof!] Come on, Matt! [Poof!] Matt: [Poof!]  
  
Summary: Matt decides that he's going to go get drunk, just to prove that he can.  
  
Chapter One  
  
Matt: [Looking in refrigerator] Mmmm.there isn't anything in here.beer!  
Matt grabs as many beers as he can hold in his had and runs into his bedroom. There, he throws the beers on his bed and jumps down beside them. Matt: [Laughs childlike] I got beer. I'm gonna to' up, from the flo' up, Hahahaha!  
He begins to drink the beers. In about 15 minutes, he drank all 12 of them. Matt: [drunkenly] Boy, I'd like some more beers.  
He stumbled down stairs and into the kitchen. He opened the fridge door and peered in. Matt: Humm.how many beers do I have left? One.two.three.four.five.six.seven.eight.nine.ten.ten?! That's not even enough to last ten minutes. I guess, I'm.off to the store! To the 'Matt- mobile'!  
He runs to his car and jumps in. He doesn't even realize he doesn't have his car keys. Matt: Where are my keys, doogie?  
He gets out and walks back into his house and finds his keys lying on the couch. He grabs them and runs, once again, to his car. Matt: [as he cranks up the car] [imitating a race car] Vroom! Vroom!  
He pulls out of his driveway and speeds off. He goes down the road doing 75 when he's really supposed to be doing 35. He gets to the store and barges in the door. Matt: I want some beer!  
He goes to the back of the store and grabs 4 12-packs and walks to the counter. Matt: I wanna buy this! Cashier: OK.it's $19.75 Matt: Here's $20. Keep the change. Cashier: Gee, thanks. Matt: [walking off] You know, you're beautiful. Cashier: I'm married. Matt: Good! Your husband could join us. [Walks out of the store] Cashier: There's the nightly loser, right there. Never fails.  
Matt gets in his car and drives home. Once home, he takes the 4 12- packs inside and goes to the kitchen. He gets the rest of the beer and heads to the living room. He sits down with all his beer on the couch. Matt: It's BEER TIME! Wooo-hooo!  
He opened the beers and began drinking. In about 45 minutes he had 2 of the packs drank. 3 hours later, Matt was seeing things. He was sitting on the couch when he saw the first little person. Matt: [VERY drunkenly] Hey, little man. Who are you? My name is Matt. 'Little Person': I'm your worst fucking nightmare. Vaya chupe un 4 dick de pulgada, la azada. Matt: What?! Do you know who I am? I'm Matt Hardy! And I do not suck 4 inch dicks, you bastard. I don't suck them at all! 'Little Person': Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go to hell, asshole. Matt: Why you little---ahh!!!  
He lunged at the 'little person' and began to strangle 'him.' In all actuality, he was choking a pillow. Jeff walked in, saw him, and walked right back out and didn't say anything. Matt: Die you little punk!  
Jeff walked back in having hopes that he was just seeing things. He saw it again. Matt: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! Jeff: Matt, dude, who ya talkin to? Matt: This little asshole right here. Jeff: The.pillow? Matt: The pil-what? Jeff: You're tryin to kill a pillow. Matt: You don't see him? He told me to suck a 4 inch dick! Jeff: [laughing] You're an idiot. And I'm leaving.  
Jeff walked out laughing so hard he could barely walk. Matt continued to choke the pillow thinking it was really someone. A few hours later, Matt gave up and went upstairs. He got in his room and passed out. Matt: [just before passing out] I don't suck 4 inch nothin. I eat pussy and that's it. The little bitch, I better not see him again. My dick hurts.I need some REAL bad. [Falls asleep]  
  
A/n, so guys, what do you think? I'm glad at times, I speak Spanish. Vaya chupe un 4 dick de pulgada, la azada, means go suck a 4 inch dick, bitch. Hehehehe. I think that's so funny. I think next time.I'm going to right one in full Spanish. Yeah, that's it. Hahahahaha. 


End file.
